So, I'm supposed to be reading my textbook right now, or working on either of my major projects that are due within the next ten days, but I feel like writing instead. I think it may have something to do with the visual / literary nature of my character. Perhaps. I also rationalise this diversion from "homework" because I would have been using it in rehearsal time, but since my scene partner pulled a no-show on me, I will write instead.
It has been a while, I think—or at least it feels like a while—since I have written an entry into this online log of activity in the realm & existence of one Lucid Elusion. Much has transpired; and much of it dissatisfying. I am becoming increasingly disillusioned with the constructs of contemporary Christianity: I look around & see that the church not only fails to meet its mandate, but it instead works to undo the progress it has made in the past. I watch myself surrounded by people who claim to be loving, pro-social, pro-community proselytes while in action, they bicker, squabble & steadfastly grip to the notion of "Me first; you, if I feel like I'm in the mood."
For the past 10 or 11 years, since I began to really take my faith seriously & since I began chasing after God with everything I am and have (though I do not claim I have done so consistently, contiguously, nor unwaveringly), I have often struggled with the Church—so much so that I have seriously considered renouncing my affiliation with the greater "Body of Christ" under the reason that that which claims to truly
be the Body of Christ in contemporary society in fact does not
act accordingly. Instead of promoting love, selflessness, community, peace & accord, fidelity & solidarity, etc. this institution seems to champion judgmentalism, ostracisation, pride, strife, discord and destruction.
I hate it.
Christians have transformed Christ into a self-promoting status symbol. Church today is a fraternity or a country club, where people of the same narrow-mindedness congregate in order to delude themselves into thinking that their actions & their perspectives on
everything contain more authority than that old leather-bound book in the corner which no one believes is really true any more because it speaks nonsense, because what it says doesn't jive with their understanding of Jesus, because what it says is contrary to what they want to believe.
I look around myself, and I see my world. I am steeped in two very disparate "communities." At school, I am surrounded by what I would go so far as to say are the most hurting, the most beaten-up, the most outcast people on campus. These are my associates in the creative arts—both faculty and students. Conversely, in my non-school world, I am surrounded by the most pretentious, most plastic, most self-righteous people I know. These are the Christians. They don't see themselves in this such light because they stick to themselves—like turtles with their heads in their shells.
Colin Blakemore & Grahame Cooper, in 1970, undertook an experiment to study the effect that environment has upon the development of visual perception. They took newborn kittens & placed them in an absolutely dark environment, removing them only once a day for 5 hours, where they placed the kittens in a large tube which had either horizontal or vertical lines running across the walls. They even went so far as to place a Plexiglas platform in the middle of the tube, where the kitten would be placed so that it wouldn't be exposed to any edges or corners in its environment. After doing this for five months, they tested each of the kittens for perceptual acuity—showing the animals images of bars in varying orientations. Blakemore & Cooper discovered that if the animal was reared in an environment that only contained vertical lines, it would only respond to vertical bars—any other image would be ignored by the kitten, as if it did not see it. These results were the same for those kittens reared in a horizontal-bar environment (ie, they would only pay attention to horizontal lines). Any stimulus that was presented to the kittens which was opposite to that which it had been previously exposed caused
absolutely no neural activity at all.
Christians have spent too much time looking at Christians. They have spent so much time in their own little circles that their perceptions have become horribly skewed and markedly distorted. The "Church" has lost its capacity to help the poor, to act in faith, to effectively preach the saving power of Christ, to wield the power given it because it does not recognise anything outside of itself. A hurting individual walks into a church, looking for acceptance & love because that is what they were told would be offered by a body of believers. He gets, instead, pushed to the side of several small crowds—ignored at best, but more often,asked to move out of the way because another group of Christians wants to use the space he occupies. He tries the proactive approaches: he goes up to several groups & tries to make small talk, but he is either given the "cold shoulder" and is ignored or he is met by active resistance by those in the group because their circle is already filled to capacity. Trying another angle, he seeks to get actively involved in the ministry activities of that church, which is easy for him to do because it requires that one give up some of his or her free time to be involved in this fashion. Some of these ministry activities are monopolised by certain circles, which proves—again—to hinder his integration. Others are considerably less desirable to be a part of, which allows the outsider to enter into a professional relationship with a few individuals in the church. But the hurting outsider, whether he be male or female, Christian or non, is not looking to engage in a semi-professional group. He could easily do that at work, or in the community or in a sports' team. The reason he has come to the church is to look for acceptance, healing & love. He remains unfulfilled & his needs remain unmet.
What happens to Joe Newcomer when he encounters contemporary Christianity? One of several outcomes: 1.) He becomes so disgusted by the self-centered nature of "Christians" that he leaves the church with a bitter taste in his mouth, refusing to ever associate with the representatives of Christ & his love ever again. 2.) The poor fool, not knowing any better, becomes a Christian and over a longtime—due to his sheer persistence in the community—becomes absorbed as one of them, which culminates in his distorted perception of the world, forgetting where he has come from. 3.) The poor fool becomes a Christian, starts reading his Bible & retains his real perception of the world & the wonderful love that has been bestowed upon him, which causes a great amount of upset in the "Church"because he is doing things differently & because his thoughts are alien to the group, further enhancing the stone-wall of rejection that he was greeted with upon his arrival.
Look around you: are you—if you are a Christian—living a happy, content life? Yes? Does most of your activity revolve around a group of individuals who you go to church with? Does that group stay relatively static—only changing when someone moves away, or when an associate of one of the group members moves to that area? Then be ashamed.
The contemporary Church has the world's fastest revolving door, but no one inside notices this because they have erected a concrete wall in front of it that has been painted with a fancy mural quoting Acts 1:8 saying, "You will be my witnesses to the very ends of the Earth."
Whether the contemporary Christian Church wants to believe it or not, that statement holds true regardless of how active it is in interacting with the world. All of creation knows that the Church is the manifest exhibition of Christ's love. How do you think Jesus is perceived by the world when His Bride, His Love, His very Body would rather organise events & activities for its own than to smile on the Other, throw its arms around the destitute with a loving hug & with true caring compassion ask how the Other is doing? Christianity today—both as a whole Church
and manifest in individual Christians—has decided that Philippians 2:3-4 no longer holds any relevance. It must be one of those many verses, says the Church, that was culturally-bound and which has no bearing on present living. The Church has adopted the exact
opposite approach to life instead. You, Christian and you, Church are living a lifestyle where you do everything out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, and you consider yourselves better than others. Each of you look only to your own interests, and also not to the interests of others. If there is one of you who follows the letter of Phil. 2:3-4, you exploit him to your own advantage & to your own gain, making him bend over backwards so that your life can believed with more ease.
AND YOU DO THIS TO YOUR VERY OWN!!! Guess what, non-Christians see this too. Not only do they see this, but they experience your navel-gazing & self-absorption first-hand: many have tried the door to the church, but few are interested in breaking down a wall just to enter into a group that exploits its own.
I say this to your shame. I feel justified in saying it, because Christ himself alluded to it when he asked, "When the Son of Man comes,, will he find faith on the earth?" (Lk 18:8)
The disgusting part is that I am part of the Church, and ergo, I am also part of the problem.
Yesterday, I was running late in getting to a practise for a certain activity that was created to entertain Christians. I was stopped by a homeless man, who asked if I had any spare change because he was hungry. I reflexively responded, "Sorry, I don't have any!" because I usually do not have any change on me. My mind was in a whir, because I was running late & because I felt that getting to this practise as quickly as possible was my priority. Moments later, I realised that I
did have change in my pocket—$1.34 to be exact—but I also realised that if he had asked the same thing from me when I wasn't busy with this "Christian entertainment for Christians" practise, I may very well have bought him a meal & spent time with him, something that I often did the previous year, regardless of my schedule. Not 10 minutes later, a girl approached me at the bus stop asking if I had $1.50 that she could borrow. Again, I reflexively said,"No I don't; sorry." At least this was true, but I found myself, as I sat on the bus,wondering why I hadn't offered the very little change that I did have on my person to help her out. I mean, the money I had was entrusted to me—it is not my own; it is Christ's. She did eventually get on the bus, due to the driver's graciousness, but that still had me thinking about the two things that I did.
Christ calls us to be light in the darkness of this world, but yesterday it seemed more important that I shine my light on to light bulbs instead of into the shadows. I pulled a Pharisee or a Levite as I walked past the bloody victim of robbers lying on the roadway. I did not do what Christ has called me to do, and I was left feeling condemned—but rightly so.
Such an attitude is due to Church Poisoning, I propose. Spending so much time trying to be around Christians & in the Church makes you forget what Christianity is all about. And I don't know why I try to do this anyways, because I myself, like Joe Newcomer, feel quite shunned by the Christian community that I find myself surrounded by. Not only so, but I also feel taken advantage of by this very same community. This leaves me with the question as to why I even bother trying to show Christ's love to those the Holy Spirit, through Paul, defines as my brothers & sisters. Why do I even bother? I do not enjoy exploitation. I do not enjoy the corruption of my faith by Comfort Christianity. I seek to depose Self from the throne of my life, but I am surrounded by others who clutch to that chair in their own lives—and who have neither the urgency nor the desire to do anything to let go of that very chair besides wistfully wishing that their life could be more Christ-like. How come I remain in the company of these individuals, when I know that "bad company corrupts good character"? Because of hope. I like to cling to the hope that there indeed are others who seek to live a selfless life & who eagerly desire to exude Christ's love. I live in the deluded hope that there exist other Christians who have the will & the fortitude to be uncomfortable enough to actually life
for Christ instead of living for the Christian social club.
My Conclusion
So here it is. You have my word on it: I am resigning from every time-consuming activity that I currently find myself involved with whose activity is oriented towards
ecclesiocentrism. I will finish my terms in my capacity within those activities, but after that,I am washing my hands. Instead, I will be devoting every iota of my spare time to the pursuit of advancing the Gospel of Christ & the love of Him who owns me. If there are any who want to join me on this new pursuit, which will begin in January, 2005, then neither post a comment to this blog or e-mail me. I would very much like to spearhead a group of individuals who want to live a power-filled, effective life for the King. This will involve much communal prayer and Bible reading. It will involve discipling,sacrificial giving and faith-in-action. It will demand a good portion of your free time—in fact, it may result in you not having spare time to do anything else. If you're willing to give up everything & follow Him, then let me know & we'll start running to catch up to Him we claim to worship.
I'm done my rant. It's now up to you.
