God, you are worthy. I miss talking to You. You are the only one that I can fully, fully divulge myself to which is great, but sometimes also makes me feel a bit lonely. You have created me to be a very unique person, and for that I am thankful. However, sometimes, it's a bit difficult to live and interact with people who come from such different perspectives or such different active approaches to the applicability of living. God, right now, I do feel that way—I feel kind of lonely; kind of separate; distinct; isolated. I thank you for this community of great people, but it just seems that my interplay with reality is just so markedly alien that the world in which I find myself to be seems literally distinct from the perspective of reality that others find their interactive engagements undertaken. To be honest, thinking about this even a little bit feels kind of creepy. This engagement of life is definitely not a mutually identical experience, and I feel as though if "experienced reality" were plotted upon a standard normal curve, I'd probably find my data point way out in domain of one of the 5th standard deviations. Very alone and very unique. Very otherish and rather polar to someone else's equally (but markedly opposite) unique apprehension of reality. Oh what bliss there can be found in normality; what community and what comfort.
God, I don't know why you've put me way out here, and I'm not even certain that you'll ever tell me the answer to that question, but I know and am confident that you've positioned my perspective precisely where it's needed to be. How you'll use it remains a mystery, yet I wholly trust that there is a purpose and there is a meaningful calling for my being out here in the far, remote reaches of understanding that which can be known.
Oh Father I yearn to be known. I yearn to have caught the intrigue of someone so much that they would like to suck the marrow out of my perspective, and to taste that my mental processes are so drastically different that the bulk of humanity's. I would love to be a resource; I would love to be known.
But now, thus says the LORD, your Creator, and He who formed you, “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
For I am the LORD your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
[Isa 43:1-3 NASB]
Now therefore, I pray You, if I have found favor in Your sight, let me know Your
ways that I may know You, so that I may find favor in Your sight.
[Ex 33:13 NASB]
May I rest in You, Elohim.
Much love,
The Lucid Elusion.
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