Thursday, February 09, 2006

Our Broadcast Now Resumes

Hello, blog world! It has been a loooong time since I have myself ventured to this blog, and therefore, it has been a long time since anything new has come up for you to feast your eyes and your brain on.

I cannot—unfortunately—guarantee any persistence or consistency in this new attempt to cheaply publish my ruminations via virtual, or "e-" dissemination. Nonetheless, I will try to be more frequent in my postings than I have been in the past year.


Where have I been? Well, to put it shortly, all over the place. What have I been doing? Too much in too little time. I've been a busy banshee these past several months & it has only been a recent development that I've begun to have enough time to spare for 8 hours of sleep per night, much less time to write on a blog.


That being said, I think I'll start with a few pithy remarks & leave this post relatively short, so as not to overwhelm you with a deluge of pent-up cognitions.


First & foremost, I've come to the realisation that I'm not very content with where I'm at in my living of life. I'm in school still, still putting in 13-14 hour days, but it's all focussing on the theatre arts—something that I dearly love. Why, then, any I not content & feeling unhappy? I think that it has to do with not grooving to the activities I was made/created/purposed to do.

Let's get a few things straight: I love the visual and performing arts tremendously. I also love people a pile. I love thinking & I love teaching. I love science and I love problem solving. I love nature & hiking.
But. But, I don't think that I would be satisfied in doing just one of any of these things. I love the arts, but I don't find myself zealously passionate about them. I love science, study, knowledge & teaching—but I'd be bored in a lab, I'd be bored in a library & I'd (probably... Can't say for certain) get bored in a classroom or a lecture hall, teaching the same thing over & over & over. I love the outdoors, yet I don't think that I'll be working in a national park for a living—I just can't see it.


All things I love. Just also all things I'm not sold-out passionate about.


What am I passionate about then? What drives me, what makes me feel fulfilled, what piques my interest and tugs at my heart the most out of anything in the universe? God. Jesus Christ. Relationship with Him. Growing closer to Him. Yep. I'm going to have to say that that's it. I don't know if anything excites me more than seeing people grow closer to and more passionate about God.


So what's that mean? Am I supposed to pursue a profession surrounding the pursuit of the Christ-centred life (notice how I didn't say "Christian." I'm under the thought that contemporary popular Christianity & Christ-centred living are no longer the same things. More on that later, if you're lucky). Probably. The upside to that—besides feeling fulfilled and having my daily activities resonate with my soul & my passion—is that all of my other beloved activities can be easily incorporated into such a profession. Perfect job, no?

Well, there's the downside... One often cannot support himself solely on a "pastor's" salary. Wages usually need to be supplemented by other sources of income—especially in small churches.


Which is where I am currently stuck. What do I do, and where do I go? How do I proceed? This April, I'll have a student debt large enough to have bought a pretty fancy luxury vehicle to pay off _and_ entertaining a Masters of Divinity program is a 3-year commitment, which further costs moolah. Not only that, but I'm right now tired of school. AND I have no idea what I should do besides this—if even I will enjoy it.


Thank goodness for God & Him knowing what to do, cuz I sure don't.


Now how's that for a hook into a new series on the blog? Stay tuned and perhaps you'll see how things turn out!


In the meantime, I'll ramble & muse about other things just to fill the space.


Until next time, oh readers!